I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
