when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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