Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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