If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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