Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
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