If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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