like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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