We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
