he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
