And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
