TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Randomize
