I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
