omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Randomize
