I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Randomize
