Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
