I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
