Don't you send me to vm
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Randomize
