Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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