Pants 0. Shit 1.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
