i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
