I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
