dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
