they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
