we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
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