Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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