I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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