Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize