i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Randomize
