You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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