Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I need a burrito and a hug.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
