I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
