She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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