hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
