...so i touched it.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
