I think scott just propositioned me for sex
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
