I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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