what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
babies were throwing up all over the place
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
