I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
