She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
