so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Randomize
