you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
