i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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