I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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