what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize
