Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
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