Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
