I'm lost and stupid without you.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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