So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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