I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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