So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
