Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
