I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
