Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
