I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Randomize
